Honesty

I went to Trader Joe's the other morning and I was hungry. I bought blueberry bran muffins for my daughter (that’s what I told myself) with mascarpone cheese. When I got home, I wanted to heat up the bran muffin for myself and put that cheese on top of it. I cut in in half, put it into the toaster oven. I could feel my heart racing with excitement. As I was getting it ready for the cheese….. I love the corners that are crunchy. I picked a piece off of the muffin and it fell into the garbage can. “Dang it”, I thought. Then I went digging for it in the garbage can (yes! I dug for it in the garbage can). That scrumptious crunchy piece had perfectly landed into a wet egg shell  “Ah!! I thought--that was perfect! I looked at what I called to myself. This gave me a chance to think.... I know there are no mistakes I could say to myself, “what is the big deal, a bran muffin”? The point is, I was committed and involved in doing a three-week cleanse with two other girls.  I remember the 12-step program saying, “those who are unable to be perfectly honest with themselves, there is no hope for those individuals of ever being free of addiction.” Addiction is the ego gone wild. The ego voice just wants to do what It wants with no care of the circumstances. I asked myself, am I being honest? Am I keeping my commitment to my friends and myself? Do I have integrity?  I made myself a cleanse shake and felt my heart at peace.